We learn all our life… Although you think you know everything and have pretty solid opinion on the World, there comes a moment, when you realize you don’t know it all (or you know nothing at all, thank you Socrates!)
With my recent visit to my parents, I saw how happy they are together, and still, after 36 years of marriage, they grow stronger and stronger. I was always fighting against my Mum’s opinion that woman does the hard work in the relationship, the chores, the cooking, washing up, taking care of a husband, kids, pets, household etc. And that she forgets about herself, her needs, her pride, her priorities, over the needs and priorities of her family. I couldn’t stand washing the dishes after my Dad or my brother, yet she was always doing it with a smile. of course, she probably was hurt they are not doing it themselves, yet she never made it an issue.
Now, after 34 years on this World, and another failed relationship, being single and seeing my parents so happy, it made me think… These ‘old-fashioned’ rules really work for them, and they are both so happy. As my Dad can fantastically reward Mum for any effort she puts in the relathionship, there’s no needy attitude from any one of them, they give each other all, without expecting anything back, yet in return for their kindness, they receive more and more from the partner.
That really impressed me, and slowly changed my ‘fighting feminist’ attitude towards life and men, when I always expect the man to do something first, before I do anything. Of course, there is more reasons why my relationships broke, it’s not that they ended because I wasn’t cooking or cleaning. That’s not the whole point, and I doubt that will change in the next relationship, as I still will be looking for partnership, but I will be giving more out of me, more of my heart, my kindness, care and attention. Next time it will last 🙂